Box Monster; Portland
Saturday, 5. July 2008, 13:33:17
First, Box Monster!
My parents are rather fond of Shiner beers. Mister Bones is rather fond of cardboard boxes. Recently I noted that the 12-pack boxes of Shiner open in such a way that they resemble a gaping maw of DOOM. Instead of opening with flaps on the top like a normal box might, a longish flap starts on the front of the box and hinges on the back-top edge. Thats a horrid description, but they open sort of like ziploc boxes. Later I will post photos and this will all make more sense.
To make Box Monster, you take the flap and open and shut it with a finger, while pretending the rest of the box is the gaping maw of DOOM. This works especially well if you also make 'Raarrrr!' noises at the same time, while moving the box around like it is actually a monster. The flap separates from the rest of the box in a serrated line which resembles sharp pointy teeth.
Mister Bones' new favourite game is to combat and eventually vanquish Box Monster. Once Box Monster is subdued, he vanquishes it by holding it down with his paws and chewing on the cardboard, or ripping seams apart to dismantle the box. Then he banishes it to a corner of the living room and leaves it there to contemplate its crimes.
However, it is not so simple - Box Monster can rise again! Every time Box Monster rises again Mister Bones looks surprised for about a second and a half. Then, in short order he becomes determined and focused only on recapturing Box Monster. In order to be permanently vanquished Box Monster must be completely dismantled; especially, the flap must be ripped off of its hinge, so that it is separate from the rest of the gaping maw of DOOM.
Needless to say, this is also my new favourite game.
Second, it is important to know something about Portland, Oregon.
After careful review and analysis of a wealth of evidence provided by L---, I have concluded that the city is only held together by festivals and parades. If there are no festivals and/or parades Portland will melt away into the Willamette River and be washed out into the Pacific Ocean, never to be seen again. That is all.
My parents are rather fond of Shiner beers. Mister Bones is rather fond of cardboard boxes. Recently I noted that the 12-pack boxes of Shiner open in such a way that they resemble a gaping maw of DOOM. Instead of opening with flaps on the top like a normal box might, a longish flap starts on the front of the box and hinges on the back-top edge. Thats a horrid description, but they open sort of like ziploc boxes. Later I will post photos and this will all make more sense.
To make Box Monster, you take the flap and open and shut it with a finger, while pretending the rest of the box is the gaping maw of DOOM. This works especially well if you also make 'Raarrrr!' noises at the same time, while moving the box around like it is actually a monster. The flap separates from the rest of the box in a serrated line which resembles sharp pointy teeth.
Mister Bones' new favourite game is to combat and eventually vanquish Box Monster. Once Box Monster is subdued, he vanquishes it by holding it down with his paws and chewing on the cardboard, or ripping seams apart to dismantle the box. Then he banishes it to a corner of the living room and leaves it there to contemplate its crimes.
However, it is not so simple - Box Monster can rise again! Every time Box Monster rises again Mister Bones looks surprised for about a second and a half. Then, in short order he becomes determined and focused only on recapturing Box Monster. In order to be permanently vanquished Box Monster must be completely dismantled; especially, the flap must be ripped off of its hinge, so that it is separate from the rest of the gaping maw of DOOM.
Needless to say, this is also my new favourite game.
Second, it is important to know something about Portland, Oregon.
After careful review and analysis of a wealth of evidence provided by L---, I have concluded that the city is only held together by festivals and parades. If there are no festivals and/or parades Portland will melt away into the Willamette River and be washed out into the Pacific Ocean, never to be seen again. That is all.
