The very last stop on my back-to-school shopping list was Saint Arnold's brewery, here in Houston. It's named after Saint Arnold of Metz, the oldest known ancestor of Charlemagne (that crazy mofo). Saint Arnold of Metz is the Roman Catholic patron saint of beer. For serious.

The brewery was on my list of places to go because one of my pint glasses broke last year. I was down to only one glass to drink out of, which is possibly worse than having no glasses to drink out of. They do this thing where you can bring in the cardboard six pack containers and trade them in for merchandise, provided the containers are in good shape. So now I have a set of four pint glasses, all with weird designs on them. Technically, there is one Saint Arnold's pint glass design, but I chose brew specific glasses with appropriate brew specific design alterations.



The Lawnmower might be an acquired taste. The first couple of times I had it, it actually tasted a little bit like grass to me. I wasn't really sure what to do with that, but when I tried it again this year I found I rather liked it.



The Summer Pils is one of my favourites - partially because of the stylized tie dye on the glass, which is difficult to see here, and partially because of the sunglasses on Saint Arnold. Also, the beer is just really good.



Bluebonnets! Okay, the bluebonnets look stupendously better in colour, but for some reason I couldn't get the colour photos to come out well enough to be suitable for public consumption.



Please note the skull. Because I'm odd, I think it's cute.



I also have a hand stamp with 'Beer hug!' on it, the tasting glass that comes with the tour, and two left over wooden tasting tokens. The tasting glass is distinctly unphotogenic, but cool in real life. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I believe 'beer hug' is one of the phrases they print on the undersides of their bottle caps. I actually collect their bottle caps, because I think they're cute and I'm in my early twenties so it's okay. I enjoy sticking magnets on my walls and then sticking the bottle caps onto magnets. Actually, for someone who doesn't really drink all that much, I really like this particular brewery.



Re the tokens: if I heard correctly, it's slightly illegal to sell beer at their brewery, so they give it away. Beer tokens are totally more awesome than toll road tokens and those kids-arcade-pizza-place tokens combined.



All of the vats are named after different saints, which is adorable. Really the only downside to this was that there is no air conditioning in the brewery/tasting room and said brewery/tasting room had stinky hipsters in it. Actually, there was a surprisingly good mix of people, many of whom brought picnic lunches to eat inside the brewery. Some even brought tables and chairs. This is totally acceptable, which kind of makes me love Saint Arnold's beer even more. The air conditioning issue will soon be moot, as the brewery is moving to a new, larger head quarters (with air conditioning!) next summer.

This is Box Monster just before it rose again.


However - Mister Bones was keeping watch, and set about conquering it!


More conquering!


Permanently vanquished!


Still vanquished!


As if it weren't enough that Box Monster could rise again at will until permanently vanquished, Box Monster seems to have evolved enough to procreate. This smaller blue box is apparently the Spawn Of Box Monster!


Mister Bones can multitask! Here, he holds down the carcass of Box Monster while combating the Spawn Of Box Monster.

First, Box Monster!

My parents are rather fond of Shiner beers. Mister Bones is rather fond of cardboard boxes. Recently I noted that the 12-pack boxes of Shiner open in such a way that they resemble a gaping maw of DOOM. Instead of opening with flaps on the top like a normal box might, a longish flap starts on the front of the box and hinges on the back-top edge. Thats a horrid description, but they open sort of like ziploc boxes. Later I will post photos and this will all make more sense.

To make Box Monster, you take the flap and open and shut it with a finger, while pretending the rest of the box is the gaping maw of DOOM. This works especially well if you also make 'Raarrrr!' noises at the same time, while moving the box around like it is actually a monster. The flap separates from the rest of the box in a serrated line which resembles sharp pointy teeth.

Mister Bones' new favourite game is to combat and eventually vanquish Box Monster. Once Box Monster is subdued, he vanquishes it by holding it down with his paws and chewing on the cardboard, or ripping seams apart to dismantle the box. Then he banishes it to a corner of the living room and leaves it there to contemplate its crimes.

However, it is not so simple - Box Monster can rise again! Every time Box Monster rises again Mister Bones looks surprised for about a second and a half. Then, in short order he becomes determined and focused only on recapturing Box Monster. In order to be permanently vanquished Box Monster must be completely dismantled; especially, the flap must be ripped off of its hinge, so that it is separate from the rest of the gaping maw of DOOM.
Needless to say, this is also my new favourite game.

Second, it is important to know something about Portland, Oregon.

After careful review and analysis of a wealth of evidence provided by L---, I have concluded that the city is only held together by festivals and parades. If there are no festivals and/or parades Portland will melt away into the Willamette River and be washed out into the Pacific Ocean, never to be seen again. That is all.

Normally I wouldn't steal a nicely made photo montage from CNN like this, but I just couldn't find them anywhere else.
President Bush playing basketball at a school in Northern Ireland is today's photo caption contest thingy on the Anderson Cooper 360˚ blog.

The last photo is definitely my favourite.
The WashPo also has a very sad little blurb, entitled "Bush's Hoop Dreams Fall to Earth in N. Ireland".

ME: "What does that mean?! It doesn't mean anything. It sounds like something George Bush would say."
ME: Anne Richards was made of awesome. the end.
R--: haha!
R--: lol, i'm not sure if bush is goin to go down as the worst president (i say middle to lower)...but he will go down as the most contemporaneously hated
ME: indeed. in a way that's almost better than going down as worst
ME: or worse, depending on perspective
R--: haha
R--: i mean he's no harding, hoover, or Johnson
R--: (Thats andrew johnson)
R--: more proof you really cant rank certain things
R--: presidents being one of them
ME: true
ME: doesn't mean you can't play favourites. i think bush might be my favourite lower-middling bad president
R--: haha!!!
ME: bush playing basketball in ireland
ME: hilarious
ME: this is why he's my favourite bad president!
R--: and dancing in africa
ME: omg, i know
R--: its the "i dont care what you think" camera shots that are priceless

Yes, I totally just stole Joe's blog post title. I did that because now that I'm back in Texas, I, much like Joe, am being a bum. This mostly involves watching 30 Rock and taking naps with Mister Bones. He still does that thing where he stretches out and uses a pillow for his head. Sometimes he flops his ears over his eyes.

Last night I finally saw Hot Fuzz - it was not at all what I expected. Actually, it was better than I expected.

I met J-- for dinner Saturday night after cleaning up my room as much as possible without a vacuum. We had end of semester Wisey's in the LXR Underground. Technically the LXR Underground may be the Neville's common room, but it's difficult to tell. It is totally awesome though. We went to N---'s Rocky Horror party, which was very much the type of party N--- might throw. J-- and I were falling asleep and had places to be early in the morning, though, so we left early.

I totally didn't miss my plane, although I did have to repack my suitcase in the middle of the airport. It was over the weight limit, which is stupid when you consider that I was still taking the same amount of stuff, just in two bags. Although, it isn't stupid when you consider that at some point, someone has to be able to lift that bag. I could lift it though.

Right now Mister Bones is having a dream, and he's barking in his sleep. Except not really, because it sounds more like a broken squeaky toy sound, but they're clearly supposed to be barks.

My shoulders do not fit in airplane seats. This is very uncomfortable.
The baby carrots and kit kat bar almost made up for it. (Hint: not really)

Before watching Hot Fuzz last night, we had to do mothers day things. These really just consisted of eating dinner outside. Dinner, by the way, was amazing, as it was totally the first real food I've eaten since easter. Negro Modelo, chocolate dipped strawberries, and steaks were involved.

I thought Mister Bones' cookies might have been crushed on the airline, but they weren't. I didn't realize until I took them out of my bag to show my father that they had garlic powder in them as well as peanut butter. So Mister Bones got a garlic powder peanut butter cookie, and then got to go around and lick everyone with his garlic powder peanut butter breath. Good stuff.

Assorted extras:
noone knows what happened to Mister Bones' volleyball
I got my third grade back, out of four - it is better than I thought it would be!
I saw K----, at church, briefly, in between the airport and home
my cat hates you
we have new cable - with BBCAmerica
later I will write a post about how I know my parents are hippies